“Honestly, Toujours?” I hissed under my breath, smacking the chestnut large behind my leg.
My pony had just stopped at the three foot vertical Todd has set up so we could get a rub. He was fine jumping the two foot nine, but now he randomly turned into the ridiculous pony he was again. I couldn’t afford to have stops like that in the schooling ring, not if I ever wanted to make Toujours a known pony. Sure, he would get known, but for being the crazy pony that always stops and bucks.
I got a canter again, feeling Toujours’ giant and flowing stride under me. I had shown him a few times locally, and he won every single hack class except for the last one we were in because he decided to spin me off. I smacked him one more time, getting Toujours to know I was serious, and I circled him across. Of course, I had ended up side by side with none other than Amelia Lewis and her large green Azkaban who were currently leading the ranking in circuit champion. I was sure she was sniggering under her breath at me.
Toujours got pointed at the jump, and I felt him try to stop again. Hissing under my breath, I smacked him off of the ground. He launched over the thing like there was a springboard, and I was lurched forward. Not unabalnced too badly though, because I successfully managed to stay in the saddle and keep my heel down.
“For the love of god…” Todd shook his head. “Whatever. Let’s go in.”
I sighed, loosening my reins a cinch. A talented grey large green was currently tooling around the course, its rider standing tall as she expertly found the distances on her pony. I had seen it around before, and if I wasn’t mistaken he got a pretty rosette. As for me? Nothing on Toujours.
“Alright, It’s going to go outside in four, diagonal in five, outside in four again, then down the single oxer.” Todd told me.
“Alright.” I said, biting my lip.
The gorgeous gray had already finished up, so now it was Toujours and I with nobody else. I couldn’t pay attention to anything but putting in a good round. Picking up a trot, I took a deep breath and circled Toujours. I could see his hooves flicking out ahead of him, no doubt the hack winner this week too as long as he didn’t do anything stupid.
I got a canter, already eyeing my first jump. Toujours’ ears shot forward, mouth agape as he began to pull the reins out of my hand. I tried reeling him back in, but Toujours did not care about anything I did at all. He shot in all different directions, a swap here, a swap there and would not get straight. So by the time we got to the first fence, he had dropped his shoulder and stopped.
I smacked him behind my leg, gritting my teeth. I had to stay calm, had to. It wasn’t easy working with Toujours, but I had to deal with it. After all, I got him when funds were low and now I had to stick with him. And I loved him, I really did. He was just crazy. Stubborn. Not right in the head. And it broke my heart.
“Come on buddy, I love you, I wouldn’t do anything to you if it was bad, ok?” I whispered to him as I circled across.
Toujours heard my words and graciously flicked an ear back. This time when we reached the first fence, he took it in full stride. I grinned, sensing just how perfect the big-bodied pony brought up his knees. One down- six to go. I began counting. One… two…
A few strides before I got to the out, something surprised me. Not a buck out of the middle of nowhere, but at the fact that Toujours did not seem to care about the next jump. I expected him to suddenly run out, but he didn’t. Three… Four… Time for take off. I put my hands on his big crest, going with. But what was I even going with to? Because to not much surprise- Toujours had dug his hooves into the ground which caused momentum to throw me forward.
I was on his head, sliding when he so abrubtpy decided to back off. I slowly began to scoot back into the saddle, truly believing I could stay on. That was, until Toujours suddenly whipped around with a snort and sent me flying into the dirt.
I didn’t hit the ground too hard, actually. The fibery footing was a cushion for my bottom that hit the ground first. A little bit of air escaped my lips, but nothing serious. As I looked back up, I could see Toujours trotting away with his reins dangling. Uh oh. I could see the anger embedded on Todd’s face all the way from here.
I sprang to my feet, grabbing my crop which Toujours had kicked some dirt over. I would have laughed this fall off if we were at home, but this was around fall number twenty on Toujours, and Todd’s heart was in palpitations. But no duh. He witnessed me get five concussions, sprain two ankles, and break a finger all from one pony.
Cautiously I padded out of the ring, people clapping for me. My face had turned red, but not as red as Todd’s. I wanted to turn around the other way and hide even though it wasn’t me Todd was angry at. I just feared the worst- saying Toujours was out.
“I’m done.” Todd told me, hands flying up in the air. “You are not going to be showing that pony anymore. I have lost count how many times this has happened. He isn’t safe. You’re getting beat up. It’s done.”
“No! Todd!” I cried out. “Please! I love that horse!”
“I don’t, and I’m the trainer here.” He told me, getting serious. “No more. I can’t have you showing something so unsafe. Miguel- take Toujours back to the barn.”
I witnessed with my own eyes Toujours being led away. My heart dropped. No- no! It couldn’t be this way! I couldn’t let everything end just like that! Toujours was the Pony Finals winner for crying out loud! I looked back and forth between Todd and my leaving pony. Todd stood like a roadblock in front of me. It was hopeless.
I turned on my foot and ran. I wasn’t sure how long, but eventually my lungs began to scream for more air. Most people watching me thought I was just a person late for my class, but they had no idea. Zip. I passed the Tower Ring as my friends and I called the arena used for Junior hunters mostly, and my heart ached. I still had to do Lumiere in there soon- which was all around unfortunate. I mentally could not find the will.
Finally, the Oasis grill came into view and I suspected maybe I could get away with hiding in a shop to weep for a bit. I wish I could see somebody I knew who would understand, but there was nobody. Of course, everybody here knew who I was especially the pony kids, but I didn’t know who they were. There was nobody.
I decided hey, what the heck, I’ll make myself towards the low jumper rings and equitation rings where nobody would expect for me to be. I was elusive in the crowd now that I had slown down, and under my speed air helment nobody could see my tears. However, I wonder if they could see my fake smile.
I finally got there where a few food stands were, and once more I couldn’t recognize anybody. But then I wandered a little farther in. And there, a few paces ahead, was the short, blonde hair of Mattie Knowles.
“Mattie?” I called out, but hushed.
“Schaefer?” he whirled around, eyes nearly shooting out of his head when he saw my tears. “Schaefer! What’s wrong, beautiful?”
“Todd…” I began to say when he put his arms on my shoulders. “Toujours threw me… and Todd… he said…”
I couldn’t do it. I felt myself break down in tears, and Mattie hugged me close. He even unclipped my helmet and slid it off comfortably so I could cry on his shoulder. The way he softly held me in his grasp brought warmth throughout my body, causing my heart to lighten softly.
“It’s alright. You can say it.” He whispered into my ear.
“Todd said I can’t show Toujours anymore.” I choked out.
Mattie leaned back, instantly gazing into me with his blue orb-like eyes. There was astonishment, then horror, and then I could see a lasting pity and pain only someone like me would be able to notice. He then shook his head, staring out.
“No. Todd? I would never… Todd?” Mattie seemed very confused, and his voice was breaking off. “No. Good lord Schaefer, I am not letting that happen. You hear me?”
“What could you possible do?” I wept. “What could anyone do?”
Mattie leaned back once more. A few people were throwing glances in our direction, but they kept walking just like everyone else. Mattie sighed, shaking his head. How could he help me? Toujours was my own pony after all, so how could someone unrelating to him even have a say? It didn’t make sense, and it wasn’t possible.
But just then, he leaned into me. He gave me the longest, warmest kiss on my lips that sent echoes going all the way down to my heart. I could feel the spark shatter me to the core, and I never, ever wanted Mattie to pull away. It took ten seconds, but finally Mattie did.
“I care enough to make something happen, Schaefer.”