One time, I was lessoning on a pony when it suddenly began bucking. Me, being small, couldn’t manage to hold on. I got thrown off, and all the air left my body. The feeling was just like the feeling I had now. I could have sworn my heart stopped, and there was an empty, shrill and cold feeling in my stomach. I couldn’t breathe. I could only stare.
And then, suddenly, my senses came back and I shook my head, images flashing through my mind in less than a second. She seemed fine just seconds before. Well, mostly fine. Except for complaining of a headache. And then, suddenly, Navaeh was on the earth, not even her stomach rising and falling from breath and Hold the Ice backing away, as confused as I was. Then I acted.
“Navaeh!” I yelled, going to my knees by her.
Her eyes were closed quite softly, as if she were sleeping. On her back, if I hadn’t seen what I just saw, I really could have mistaken her for just resting. But as I leaned in closer, I was positive she wasn’t even breathing. Yet nobody was around. What could I do? If I left, she would die. If I stayed, who knows?
Then, I remembered something I was taught back in the seventh grade. In health class, we were given CPR dummies that we got to practice on in case somebody’s heart stopped or if they stopped breathing. I ended up becoming certified in CPR. Now… staring at Navaeh… I felt I had no choice.
I put my head down to her chest. Her heartbeat was dim, so dim I could have sworn it wasn’t even there. But it was, only barely. I lifted my head, heaving in a deep breath. Reaching out a hand, I closed her nostrils shut. Easy now, I told myself. I sure hope I’m doing this right.
I put my lips to hers, not even bothering to think how awkward this would be. Instead, I gave her two strong breaths. I breathed slowly and strongly, making sure they would be good enough. I released her nostrils, locking my fingers together. I began pushing my hands on her chest, rather forcefully. So, I may crack her ribs, but that happened every so often. One, two, one, two, I went up to twenty five beats before closing her nostrils again. Two more breaths. I could feel my own self begin to sweat, but I had to do this.
I began the beats to her chest again, but then I realized there was a faint breath coming from her. I sighed in relief. However, she was still out like a light. But if she was breathing on her own…. Now was my chance.
“Icy, I need you.” I tell the horse who had lowered his head to graze.
His head shot up, flicking an ear towards my voice. He seemed utterly unknowing of anything happening in the situtation, so I jogged up to him. He sidestepped a little, but now that I had his reins in my hands I vaulted on the leggy gelding. It was a feat, but I balanced myself in the saddle.
Nobody was around right now, so I had no choice for what I was going to do next. And yet I was upon a horse I had never ridden before, but none of that mattered right now. My best friend could be dying for all I know. That was the only thing on my mind as I kicked Hold the Ice, stirrupless.
He instantly spurted forward at a gallop. Because we were on a wide stretch of grass, it was easy for us to gain pace and go forward. We weren’t too far into Grand Prix village, which was nothing but lucky for me right now. Icy seemed very confused under me as I legged him forward, and I wish I could have explained to him what was going on.
We went around a turn, and I seriously felt like I was a jockey in the Kentucky Derby, going around the final stretch. Then I remembered Icy was part thoroughbred, which caused me to bite my lip. “Alright Icy, let’s see that thoroughbred.”
I gave him another kick, sending him off even faster on a stretch that got narrower and narrower. Not one rider walked the path I did. Not one! If someone was there, they could have had a phone or anything. I just showed, so I didn’t have my phone or anyone to contact. But I was riding towards the showgrounds- where hopefully I could get help. That is, if Navaeh managed to hand on for that long.
Suddenly, the crossing road came into view. The crossing guard for the horses was there, but nobody else was crossing. It was some sitting guy, half-asleep at the job. He would be no help to me. I kept my strong gallop, but I saw a car coming fast. Well, that was just too damn bad. I didn’t even care as I raced across the road, inches separating me from the car. But we made it, and I continued flying into the grounds.
People began appearing straight away. I would demand a phone from an absolute stranger if I had to, but to my luck I found Susie sauntering by. Thank god. I could hardly contain myself and get the words out as she looked up at me with a very confused expression.
“Susie, thank god.” I breathed heavily. “I need you.”
“Schaefer, what? Why are you on Icy? Where is Nav-“ I wouldn’t let her finish. It was wasting time.
“No time to explain. Get on. Call an ambulance. Please.” My voice was strangled now, and tears were spilling from my eyes.
I guess my expression left an impression on Susie, because she stopped speaking and climbed aboard Icy with me. He didn’t like the extra weight, but he would have to deal with it for now. Once I heard her dialing a number on her phone, I set off at a canter.
Once more, I passed the pathway but this time no cars came by. Once we passed that, I quickened the pace slightly. I felt Susie wrap an arm around me, but I didn’t blame her. Icy seemed pretty bumpy, and we were riding double. I heard her stutter a few words, but everything was hard to hear in this crazy situation.
Finally, we made it back to Navaeh. And of course… there still was nobody around, and she was just as I left her. But she seemed slightly paler. Her dirty blonde hair flickered up slightly in the breeze. However, she was still gently breathing which was good. She managed to hold on until I came back. The second Susie saw her broken form, she gasped and leapt from the saddle. I did the same.
“Schaefer… What happened?” Susie asked sternly.
“I don’t know. I don’t know.” I was crying harder now, so broken, so confused. “One second she was fine and then she suddenly just fell. She wasn’t even breathing. I had to do CPR then I got on Icy… and… and…”
“Calm down.” Susie put a finger to my lips, and then leaned over Navaeh. “Alright. An ambulance is coming. She hit her head when she fell… but she said she was fine. I don’t get it.”
“Just tell me she’ll be ok.” I choked out.
“She’ll be fine, Schaefer.” Susie momentarily changed her gaze from Navaeh to me to lock me in a hug. “Safe and sound.”
The next moments were a blur. The ambulance. An entire crowd gathering around, at last, just to see Navaeh get put onto a stretcher, the people working at her abosutely frantic. The crowd was as well. Seeing the nations greatest junior rider look just about dead- it was a shock for all. But it affected me more than the others. Seeing your best friend, who helped you through everything, who was the reason you rode at the barn of your dreams and not knowing if she would make it or not- it does something to you. And now I was just as broken as she was.
The Bay decided they would be better off to cancel showing for the rest of that Friday. Some people stayed at the grounds such as Kenzie, too young to know the severity of the situation, and Brooke who feared she would break down if she went to Navaeh. And now in the blank, white room was Mattie and I. Alex was just in the room housing Navaeh, who I suspected was now in some sort of coma, but she momentarily left to grab a soda.
‘Brain Trauma’ was what I was told it was. I didn’t know any details, but I was sure it was bad. Really bad. So bad, that when I passed her nurses, they were discussing the odds of her survival. This of course left me in tears, and I had retired to Mattie’s arms. But now I had control of myself. Now I was looking over her, grasping the odds for her to pull through.
“She didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve this at all.” I said softly.
“The worst things happen to the best people.” Mattie shook his head. “But it’s alright… She’ll be fine.”
I gritted my teeth, whirling around. “I am sick of people telling me she’s fine. She is not fine! She is in a coma, practically brain dead and hanging onto life by a thread! So stop. Telling me. She… she is….” I trailed off, succumbing to tears.
Mattie locked me into an embrace. I was ever so grateful for it, because I was all gone by this point. His arms went around my waist, under the shoulder. I felt warm, his head leaning on me. I cried into him, not even bothering to think how ridiculous I must look.
“I’m so sorry.” I cried.
“It’s alright, beautiful.” Mattie said, rocking back and forth. “You can cry. Let out your sorrows. There, there. You’re fine. Now, Navaeh is going to get better. She’s strong. You’re strong. And I want her to come back to something. I want you to go out there tomorrow and ride. And I want you to ride for Navaeh. Make her happy.”
“Ok.” I say, because his idea makes perfect sense to me.
I pulled away, turning back to Navaeh on the white hospital bed. Eyes closed, monitor beating to show she was still alive. And I walked right up to her, going down to my knees so my head could be level with hers. I blinked, stroking my hands through her hair. And right there, I made a promise. But in a voice quiet enough so only Navaeh could hear it.
“I’m going to win circuit champion.” I whisper into her ear. “And I’m going to win it for you.”