The Mental Horse (a crossover between "The Mentalist" and The Equestrian)
“Oh my goodness, somebody help! Lucky is missing!”
“Goodness gracious! Somebody better call- The Mentalist!”
Epic introduction music
“Look, Jane, this really isn’t our thing. I don’t see why we should spend our time searching for some random horse when we have killers to catch.”
“Relax Lisbon, we need a chill thing. This should be an easy case. Anyway, I know you are secretly enjoying this. It’s a nice breather. Breathe in the air, Lisbon! Mm. Why does horse manure smell so good?”
Two figures came into view from over a road, ambling along but with a slight sense of caution. One was a man, with amazing dirty blonde hair and a vest with five buttons, and the other was a slightly shorter woman with straight brown hair and an expression that reeked of urgency.
The road was slightly uphill, so once they reached the top a large villa of horses, riders, and grooms came to view. There were two enormous rings, and several horses were either showing in those or warming up. Patrick Jane and Lisbon froze, seeing where to go next.
“It’s a missing horse called in by a young girl,” Jane began. “So, suspect to find our victim in the open bunched up with a bunch of friends with her own age.”
Lisbon glanced around. She at first didn’t come across anything unusual, but her eyes then met a group of six very worried looking girls along the fence.
“Oh, am I right?” Patrick Jane said with a smirk to Lisbon who rolled her eyes and walked towards them.
“Save it for another day, Jane.” Lisbon sighed. She tapped one of the girls on the shoulder, one with curly brown hair and a kind gaze.
She whirled around. At first she was startled, but then she relaxed. She blinked once, and then began to talk. “Oh thank god you’re here! I’m Schaefer. Schaefer Hoff. And you guys must be the amazing CBI, no?”
“That’s us, and were very amazing alright.” Patrick Jane said, pushing past Lisbon. “But you’re not the one to reported the case. It’s that one behind you- yes, her. She’s trembling, obviously in a state of shock- I take it she found the horse to be missing?”
None other than Alex took a step back to reveal a weeping and shaking Brooke, who was being hugged by the wee Kenzie. Brooke squinted, her hands over her face that were splayed in despair.
“Yes. I found Lucky to be gone…” she said, no more than a whisper. “Please tell me you can find him.”
“Of course we can. We assure you we can find whoever did this.” Lisbon said relaxed, raising her hands and breathing deeply.
“So this Lucky horse… I suppose is probably some six figures multi champion thing that everyone envies. And is probably a threat to the competition here… and is some lightly colored horse, because the majority of horses laggardly named ‘Lucky’ are… Hmm, I’m guessing yellow? What do you call that?”
“Yes, he’s palomino.” Monaca from the back spoke up. “How- how did you do that…?”
“The same way I can say your actually somewhat insecure, and you try to be more outgoing then you really are but at least your honest. Your-tense, but the way you move your face shows your calm, but mentally it’s otherwise.” Jane pointed at a now shocked and insulted looking Monaca. “But I mean, it’s not hard to tell- just common sense, really.”
“Jane! Are you really going to pull that crap now, of all times?” Lisbon yelled to Patrick.
“Its not ridiculous, I mean it’s true.” Jane protested, before turning back to the girls who exchanged glances. “Anyway, when did you last see Lucky? And do you know anyone who might have something against him?”
“Well yeah…” Brooke began, sniffling. “I saw him eating his hay only an hour ago. And I mean, I don’t really know anyone who would want to harm him…”
“Lies!” Patrick Jane said, startling the girls. “The way you tense your jaw says otherwise. Tell me.”
“I mean, nobody in particular… But anyone really. He is striking and wins wherever he goes. Anyone would either want a horse like him, or get rid of him to make their horse better.”
“There’s some people…” Schaefer mumbled angrily under her breath.
“Who are they?” Lisbon asked, crossing her arms. “It’s ok. You can tell us anything.”
“Not saying they will…” Jane mumbled.
“Jane!” Lisbon furiously shouted.
“It’s ok. Were equestrians.” Schaefer started, looking up to Patrick Jane. “Were truthful. Anyway, I can bet it’s anyone from Lake Ridge, Maggie Walker’s barn. They are evil, and ever since I left them they have been trying to get at me and The Bay.”
“Huh, targeting friends…. That’s a serial killer move…” Jane said, rubbing his lower lip.
“WHAT?!” Naveah shouted from the outskirts.
“Nothing, nothing! We’ll be back!” Lisbon shouted, pushing Jane away.
Agent Lisbon half pulled half pushed Jane into the covered barns. They were huge and had several different trainers and teams inside, so Lisbon and Jane spent their time weaving from row to row. Jane of course wanted to stay and chat, stroking and loving upon the horses as they went, but eventually they made it to a barn by the entrance on the farthest end with a banner that read Lake Ridge.
Lisbon peeped in, her hand by her holster as she creeped around. Patrick Jane simply rolled his eyes at her and pushed away at the banner, much to Lisbon’s dislike.
A tall, snarky looking rider wearing a pair of expensive breeches and tall boots was inside. She jumped, nervous at the sudden new people, but then she narrowed her eyes.
“Who the hell are you?” she asked coldly.
“I don’t appreciate that language, and-“ Patrick began to say, but Lisbon cut him off.
She shined her badge and sighed. “Agent Lisbon and Patrick Jane. We need to speak with a Maggie Walker, oh, and who are you? Might you assist us?”
“I am Hazel McAntley, Maggie’s best catch rider. I can help you.” She said in an egotistical tone.
“Ok, do you know anything of a horse named Lucky, from The Bay?” Lisbon asked her as Jane tapped his shoe. “And do you know anything about his capture?”
“What, the fancy palomino? Yeah I do.” She said, crossing her arms. “I love that horse. I want to buy it.”
“Based on your clothing and your attitude, that’s not out of the question…” Patrick Jane mumbled.
“JANE!” Lisbon yelled at him again before turning her attention back to Hazel. “But have you heard anything of his whereabouts? And where is Maggie?”
“No, I haven’t…” Hazel sighed, looking to the ground. “But Maggie is at the ring.”
“Lies, you do know.” Jane said, stepping forward with his serious face. “However, Maggie knows the answers. Lisbon, follow me!”
Patrick Jane went running off to the exit of the barns, and Lisbon half-heartedly trailed before mumbling a discreet ‘thank you’ to Hazel who just stuck her nose up in the air as they ran off.
They quickly found Maggie stalking the ring like a hawk. The girls weren’t too far off, and they stole glances at Jane and Lisbon as they made their approach. Maggie didn’t notice them until Lisbon impatiently tapped her shoulder.
“Who are you?” She asked.
“CBI. I’m Agent Lisbon and this is Patrick Jane. We need to ask you some questions regarding a horse named Lucky.”
Maggie’s pupils dilated, and Jane instantly noticed and jumped at her.
“You flinched. So, I take it you definitely DO know about this incident and if I’m not mistaken you had to do with it. The way you trembled like that? You’re definitely nervous. And I bet I can tell you exactly what you’re thinking.” Jane said with a smirk.
Maggie desperately looked up into him, sweat trickling down her face. “No…”
“Yes.” Jane smiled. “Your thinking oh crap I sure hope he doesn’t know what I’m thinking because then he would know I did indeed kidnap Lucky so I could give him to Hazel to ride and so The Bay would lose, which you enjoy because of Schaefer.”
“How did you…?” Maggie mumbled.
“Nevermind that.” Patrick Jane shook his head as Lisbon grabbed Maggie. “Why?”
“I just-“ Maggie started, trailing, but Jane interrupted again.
“Nevermind that either, you’re just a bitch.” Jane smiled broadly, looking deep into Maggie. “Lisbon, cuff her!”
The girls quickly scrambled over to Lisbon, Jane, and Maggie. They all looked thrilled, except for Brooke who still looked pissed. Up her sleeve she pulled out a very long and evil twisted Twizzler, which she held up to Maggie’s face.
She slapped her with it, and yelled. “YOU JUST GOT LICORICE-SLAPPED!”