The days following were grueling. Every day I had to work my butt of so maybe, just maybe I could begin to strive for perfection. While I managed to get more confidence when I would steer Shoelaces to the jumps, I still would either chip or get flyers half the time. My mother would laugh and shake her head, and in vengeance I would begin steaming and head to it again. Only then on those occasions would I actually be able to get a decent jump. Even though my father broke a sweat when he handed the bills to my mom for show clothes, he wasn’t against our plan. The week before the show my mother took me to a tack shop where I got my own pairs of show clothes, a pair of tall boots, and a nicer helmet. They weren’t any novelty item and were pretty cheap, but when I rode in the ring it wouldn’t be possible to see the price tag. I wanted to ride Shoelaces in them just to get a feel of what it would be like, but I held back. Not yet.
I even went to great lengths to learn how to braid manes so we wouldn’t have to hire anyone at show. It took a lot of squealing and pinned ears, but finally I began to master the braid and even made it look presentable. My mother decided she would invest in real standards for me, but we didn’t have a plan yet.
It was the Thursday before the show where reality came banging down on me.
Scents of cocoa and beans wafted up to my nostrils from a few yards in front of me. In my hand was a clear cup filled with an iced mocha and whip. I was at the local Starbucks downtown, the only place here where coffee wasn’t greasy and the pastries weren’t stale. It was a quiet day today, but it was late morning and most people would go get their coffee earlier. I finished caring for the horses in the morning, and I wasn’t going to be riding. After all, Shoelaces was going to get trailered up tomorrow morning.
I took a sip of my coffee, my eyes then wandering to the scone I laid on a napkin. It was untouched so far, but I would get to it. I couldn’t help but tremble in anxiety at the thought of tomorrow, and I didn’t know if I could calm myself down in time to eat.
Just then, I heard the door open from the ring of bells on the handle. I didn’t mind it too much, but the thing was opened with so much force I just had to look. Sure enough, it was Louisa with a cross look on her face who straightaway went to order a coffee. She didn’t notice me at first, but once she began to order some intricate, crazy mixture of who knows what her mind wandered and she glanced in my direction.
She got her coffee, and slowly began to wander over to me. I didn’t think anyone else here was rebellious enough to befriend the ex-cop from Jersey, and in the two weeks time I was the only person to have uttered a word to her. I normally would not speak with a person like her, but I just had to know who everyone was at the town. Besides, she was the person who crashed into the old truck, and was fairly hard to forget. With a smug look on her face, she slipped into the modern, wooden chair on the other end of the table.
“How’s the weather over there?” She asks sarcastically as she takes a sip of the concoction.
“A little cold, you?” I play along with her game.
She waves a hand. “Fair enough. You know, nobody here talks. Then again, maybe they do but not to me.”
I laugh a bit. Louisa was right. People were fearful to get to know the woman, and I was intimidated at first. So at times when my parents were out, Louisa and I would speak and she almost became as another Hugo to me. She was a tad hostile, sarcastic, and irritant at times- but she wasn’t the Jersey Louisa here.
“That’s true.” I shrug, prodding at the scone. “I mean, you stand out from the crowd.” I take another sip of the coffee.
Louisa smiles, leaning back in her chair. “Figures. How are the horses?”
I bite my lip. “I’m horse showing this weekend. At an A show.”
She makes some sort of strange motion with her lips, then begins to snigger a bit. I doubted Louisa needed coffee in the first place, since naturally she was so out there to say the least. She shook her head, looking back into my eyes.
“Enjoy yourself with the snotty, rich children.” She takes another sip. “I don’t know horses, but I know the crowd.”
I smile smugly. “I don’t know, maybe some people are different. Maybe I’m not the only one.”
“Yeah, well, good luck child.” Louisa leaned in. “Stay classy.”
There is a moment’s silence after that, with both of us eyeing each other with grins on our faces. I continued prodding the scone, but didn’t have the heart to take a bite. My coffee did wonders to me though, but Louisa’s seemed to be in another language. There was a small silence, and then I heard her speak again.
“You going to eat that scone?” She raises a brow.
I smile, pushing it in her direction instead of uttering a single word. Louisa right away breaks pieces of, nibbling on them as she goes. My mind wandered, looking over to some of the people here at Starbucks today. There was one person, a well-rounded, pudgy-faced man who appeared to be some sort of wealthy circuit citizen. He had the nicer clothing, a long-sleeved plaid shirt that didn’t standout too much, but was better then the average work outfit here. I shrugged it off, mind wandering.
It was hard to believe only tomorrow I would get the chance to do what I always dreamed about. It wasn’t the 11:11 wishes or the pennies in fountains that got me there- but instead my own will. A desire to aspire, I thought to myself. That’s what it was. If I wanted something well enough, then I could get it done, right? But it didn’t seem like such a good idea anymore. I knew I didn’t fit in with the crowd. I was Stella, the quiet kid who lives down the street on the farm with the restaurant owners. The kid that never got in anyone’s business unless you got in mine. What was I doing marching into unknown territory? Before I knew what my mind was doing with all my buzzing thoughts, I realized my coffee was nearly gone and I had been sipping it like crazy since I began to think. The scone was nearly gone, Louisa probably not having breakfast. My mind changed paths. She was an ex-cop from Jersey. I wonder what ever happened to change that?
“You got a boyfriend?”
What? What did she say? I shook my head awake as I noticed Louisa had her eyes narrowed as she stared into me. I bit my lip, raising a brow. Louisa sighed, banging a fist on the table and leaning back.
“Child. Do you have a boyfriend?” She repeated.
I furiously shook my head. “No- no! Why?”
“Well, a kid your age would normally have some young love going on.” Louisa laughed. “Especially a crush. At least, that’s how it was in Jersey. Not even a crush?”
I shrugged, looking away. No. There wasn’t anyone There was hardly even any boys my age around here, and they were the equivalent of hooligans. Louisa did bring up a strong point though, that people my age would have young love. But not me. Not here, in the middle of nowhere in Wisconsin.
“I hate to break it to you, but I don’t.” I manage to let out a laugh, shaking my head. “This is Wisconsin. There are no boys my age that are halfway decent around here.”
Louisa shrugged. “Maybe you could find a little rich bro at the show.” She was determined, that’s for sure.
“If my life was a cheesy book, sure.” I took another sip, and just like that my coffee was gone.
“Life isn’t all sparkles and rainbows.” Louisa agreed, taking the final bite of the scone.
The truth behind those few words was embedded in my heart. It was more than true, life not being all sparkles and rainbows. If it was, I would be rich showing every weekend, have a full barn of horses, and have a Prince Charming. Too bad there was such a thing as reality, though. I always say the same thing. Reality is your worst enemy. Without reality, who knows where you could go? You could fly, for all I care. And then it hit me. Maybe I needed to face the reality that I wasn’t fit for the A circuit. That I wasn’t going to be the underdog everyone knows about. Louisa had a marvelous point.